The Crossroad

In the middle of crossroads you stand
Been wandering in circles, do you still run?
Left or right, you remain confused
Which way to go, you need to choose.

Your heart’s desire, just a step away
But do you go for it, or do you stay?
Swayed by uncertainty, but it’s what you want
You want to grab it now, but you just can’t.

Arms stretched, you try to reach
You try to move forward inch by inch
Is it for you, you stop and doubt
Do you pursue north or do you head back south?

Looking behind, do you go back?
Do you close your eyes and try your luck?
Listening intently, seeking for the Voice
Please help me, you say, I need to make a choice.

Standing unmoved, you look at the road
Trying to discern answers yet untold
Wind is blowing, your name they call
But grounded you stay, determined not to fall.

The end of the road, you still don’t see
Helpless inside, what’s your destiny
As you stand there, you patiently wait
The road may be unknown… but take it to your faith.

Trina

(This is what I get from looking through old files in my computer before reformatting. ;p)

It was the second time she watched the stars with him while sitting by the beach. She could still recall how she used to love those scenes in movies and she never thought the stars could actually be lovely to stare at. He was just a few inches away from her and it was one of the most amazing, unexplainable feelings there could ever be.

A few years back, the idea of him was real only in romantic novels that she used to read. But he made everything truly like a fairy tale in real life. He had the kindest smile she had ever seen. He had the ability to make her feel like there was nothing more important in the world than to be with her.

He took her to places she had never been before. It was not as if she had never seen trees, and flowers and lakes, but nature seemed lovelier and more perfect with him having to show it to her. He declared her as his inspiration in front of his family, his friends and probably half of the town’s population and she just drowned with so much attention he poured out on her.

By the steadiness of his breath, she knew he was already asleep. As she heard the little waves break into the shore, she stared at him trying to discern something unspoken. She smiled remembering all the good things of the past and she wondered if he somehow thought of it too.

Things were already different. Maybe two years was really long enough to change everything. Even if his mere presence brought back a familiar feeling, and even if he were there right beside her, there was still a strange hollow between them.

Earlier, their friends continued to tease them as if it were a continuation of that special thing they once shared. They sang their old songs and tried to bring back that bond that they lost after so long. It was surreal. It was like one of those fairy tales brought back to life.

She asked herself, was the feeling still there? But until the break of dawn, she was not able to come up with any answer.

He opened his eyes and she realized it was time to go. She smiled at him and felt the awkwardness to say a word. She knew it was time. Because the moment they leave that shore where they watched the stars together, she already felt the coldness of the sand that she will leave behind, together with the new hope that the early morning sky promises.

He stopped the car where she had to take off. He told the others, “Guys, let’s drop Trina off first.” A very fast, deep regret in his face was unmistakable as if he wished to have bitten his tongue at that very moment.

It wasn’t her name.

Choosing A Side

In the middle of an uncertainty where the truth is unknown, you have two options: to believe you're in the safe zone, or to fear the alert of the danger zone.

Safe zone is where you believe you remain invincible, impenetrable by anything or anyone. It is where you feel you are still in control.

Danger zone is where the line is crossed, the boundaries are exceeded until you become vulnerable to whatever circumstances may still bring. It is where you have lost your upper hand.

It is torturing to stay in the gray area. To not know what side to choose. To want to choose the safe zone but the fear of the danger zone keeps on bugging you like a forceful idea not wanting to give up its power over you.

However, in reality, there remains one last option: to find out the truth. Only, the final question would be: Are you ready for it?

License to Rest

This is one of those moments where I am feeling terribly tired, yet feeling condemned for having that feeling. I'm crazy right?

Rest is meant for people who have been productive enough to earn that break. I don't know where I got that from, but it has been my philosophy since I started living in the real world of business.

As for me, I haven’t accomplished anything yet and I’m running out of patience. I know I’ve got a lot of things to do and in my mind they are all piled up, but I just couldn’t get the exact attitude to get it done. The mere thought of doing all these things make me scream "Stoooop!!!" inside.

So I say, I’m just tired but I have no license to rest. How tormenting can that be.

Authority in Question

Submission is a word most people hate. Of course. As much as possible we want to have things our way. But whether we like it or not, as long as we do not have a planet of our own where our rules and sole power reign, we have to submit to certain forms of authority.

Undoubtedly we have our own dominion in our little lives but when we step out and face the world, we still have to pay some form of respect to other people especially those who have authority over us, say our boss.

I am one of the nicest and most supportive bosses. I always encourage, praise good output, play down mistakes, and I very rarely yell. So I do feel awful when people become abusive and start to give me an attitude.

I am very much upset by people who seem to discount my authority as a boss. Is it acceptable to just go on a leave without giving any notice at all? Is it tolerable to make faces when given instructions? What’s the problem with these people! I need not spell it out as a policy. It takes just a little common sense!

You might suggest confrontation. All right, that makes me imperfect now. I hate confrontations and before I start yelling I have to recollect my emotions first. I know I don’t have to take things personally, maintain professionalism and all that. But sometimes it’s quite tough not to take things personally when as simple as common courtesy just doesn’t seem so common anymore. I’m starting to think if it’s being done on purpose. Running a business is really hard, but managing people is a whole lot harder.

Submission is not blind obedience. It is almost inseparable with respect. And in this arena, I believe disrespect is worse than disobedience.

Sorry Is Just Another Word

Sorry is one of the overused and most abused words. It has become so ordinary that it gets to the ranks of “you know” or “whatever” or “like.” I don’t have anything against these. But it’s, like, you know…it has lost its meaning already or whatever.

We spill a coffee over someone and we say sorry. We don’t get what another person says and we say “I’m sorry?” Often, we choose to let go of words before even thinking about it and hurt other people because we can always resort to saying sorry anyway. People feel more liberty in being unkind or insensitive because they are free to dig in to the unlimited resource of sorry.

Sorry is a feeling of sorrow, regret or grief. It's not something that we take advantage of and excuse our shortcomings with. It's not something that's supposed to come out just to get things over with. I was reminded by someone that sorry is not the end of the discussion, but most of the time, it's where the real talk begins.

Sorry with no heart, no sincerity, is just another word. We cannot say we're sorry and at the same time justify what we do something wrong. We cannot say sorry and have a list of reasons that rationalizes our actions. When we say we're sorry, we simply are.

In the Middle of Silence

Silence is deafening, some people say. Sitting next to a person hearing nothing but the sounds of his breath is not easy. People resort to make whatever sound, tap their fingers, and initiate small talks just to fill in the awkward gaps. It's hard to be steady in the middle of silence. Most of the time, there has to be the littlest noise to break it.


What's in silence that people cannot bear? The awkwardness? The nothingness? The solitude?


I love silence. I love long drives with no radio on. No talking. I can go for hours without speaking a word. I love to be alone with my own thoughts. And sometimes it's the best time to recognize ones existence. It's one of the few moments to be reminded of life's simple pleasures, the ones that are always overshadowed by the busyness of this life. It's the time to uncover the realities that go unnoticed because each is consumed by the seemingly more important facts of life.


Nearly every place has no room for silence. In the middle of today's worries, even in our sleep we find no silence, no peace. I wonder when is the last time we have a time of quiet and just discover the marvel of the unknown...of some things greater than us...of the profundity of life and our existence.